There is a Native American proverb, which says, “A woman’s highest calling is to lead a man to his soul, so as to unite him with the source. A man’s highest calling is to protect woman, so she is free to walk the earth unharmed.”
I love this proverb. For me it comes to the heart of the matter of our relationship as husband and wife. There are a number of ways I believe we do this but I’d like to offer up one today for your consideration. I believe that every man deserves to be adored and every woman deserves to be cherished. In being this for one another I believe we each remind one another of our beauty, our grace, and our Source. In psychology we learn to reward the behavior we want to see repeated. I believe this is something each of us needs to bring more into our own lives with our self and our partner, actually every one we touch. We hear this a lot in businesses, “Catch people doing something right,” but how often do we remember this with our family?
I remember my self as a young girl adoring my father and my brothers. This is a quality that I have brought into my relationship with my husband, Sammy, and it has deepened the quality of our relationship. I have to admit that there was a time in my life, when I had a great deal of fear of reflecting to someone all that I loved about him. I had an irrational belief, that if he truly saw how amazing he was that he would never want to stay with me. This doesn’t mean I didn’t do it anyway, I did. But as I have let go of the fear and unraveled the lie of that story, I believe I have grown in my ability to authentically share with another their beauty, and I am a happier person for it.
Sharing with Sammy all that I believe to be amazing about him is something I find my self naturally doing all the time. In fact, in the past I often joked with him that I needed to send thank you notes to all of his ex-girlfriends. He tells me that he wasn’t as good to them as he has been to me. I think perhaps they were too young to see the truth of him. Having had older brothers who often hid their emotions behind actions, I learned to pay attention to the action to understand the man. As I reflected the man I saw him to be, he only became more of him, more cherishing of me, and more willing to let me see into his soul and know him. For me in adoring Sammy I have gotten to know the deeper, most inner being that he is. The soul with such compassion and love, someone so generous with all of who he is, one who is passionate about supporting, and empowering others.
In return I have been truly cherished beyond even what I knew to be possible before this relationship. The more I adore him, the more he cherishes me, and the more he cherishes me, the more I adore him. It is fostering the love between us through being mindful and aware of the blessings and gifts we each bring to one another. It is our willing-ness to let down our guard and let each other see our vulnerability, our heart, and each other through the love we feel. This is one way I believe we reflect our understanding of this proverb in our relationship and our relationship has been deepened and blessed because of it.
Today…I choose to adore. In Joy.